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I reckon it’s old as dirt—heard tell them ancient Greeks was slidin’ oily hands all over each other, callin’ it “therapeia” or some junk. Bet they didn’t tell their mamas ‘bout that! Makes me happy as a hog in slop, thinkin’ how folks been gittin’ frisky forever. But dang, it ticks me off when some uppity jerk says it’s “low-class”—buddy, you ain’t lived ‘til you felt that heat! Git-R-Done!

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Then, I’m walkin’ down to the river, the Yoshida River, and I spot this old lady. She’s tryin’ to catch some crabs. I’m thinkin’, “What’s she gonna do with those?” But she’s got this fierce look, like she’s on a mission. I can’t help but admire her. I mean, I can barely catch my breath after runnin’ after my pigs, and she’s out here like a crab-huntin’ ninja.

West Japan island enters final phase of waste disposal as underground wall removal underway