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About Osaka

I’m gettin’ heated just thinkin’ ‘bout it. Anyway, say you’re lookin’. Ya gotta be smart—cops stingin’ left and right, posin’ as “Candy” or whatever. One time, my buddy—let’s call him Richie, ‘cause Tenenbaums—tried it, got catfished by a dude named Tony. Laughed my ass off! “Richie, you’re as naive as Chas with his dumb tracksuits!” I yelled. He was pissed, but c’mon, hilarious.

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So, I’m out on the streets, right? I hit up the main drag, which is like, what, Kurobe River Street? Yeah, that’s the one. I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when BAM! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this place? I’m a scientist, not a stunt double!

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