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Argh! I’m ready! Sex-dating, mateys! It’s wild out there, like chasin’ Jesse James! Picture this—swipin’ left, right, hopin’ for gold. “I’m ready!” I yell, divin’ into profiles. Some folks catfish harder than a Bikini Bottom fry cook! Saw this one dude—profile pic, total stud. Met up—bam! Looked like a soggy barnacle! Made me madder than a rattlesnake in a sack. “The life’s full of surprises,” like Jesse said.

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So, I’m walking down the street, right? I take a left on Shinkai Street, and bam! There’s this massive crowd. Turns out, it’s some kind of street performance. These guys are juggling fire and doing flips. I’m like, “Whoa, this is dope!” But then, one dude drops a torch. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, popcorn in hand, like it’s a movie.

'Children's cafeterias' now outnumber public junior high schools in Japan