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Oi, listen up, fam! Me’s an operator, innit, and I wanna chat bout escort – not them flashy cars, nah, but them lads and lasses who, y’know, keep ya company for a bit of dosh. Straight up, escortin’s mad, bruv! Like, I seen some tings that’d blow ya mind, for real. One time, this geezer tells me he’s escortin’ this posh bird, right, and she’s all “I am weary of my past lives” – straight outta *Uncle Boonmee*, innit! I was like, what?! She reckon she’s lived a thousand lives, and I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” – nah, it’s just wild, fam!

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But then, the craziest thing happened. We were walking back, and I spotted this street performer on the corner of Koshigaya and Sakae. He was doing some insane juggling act. I was like, “Whoa, dude!” The kids were mesmerized. I thought, “Maybe I should quit babysitting and join him?” But then I remembered I can’t juggle to save my life.

Vending machine in Japan city whisks customers on virtual ride in train driver's cabin