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So I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s sassy, calls me “big dog,” and I’m dyin’ laughin’. “Dance with me,” I’d say, noddin’ to *Fish Tank*, but she’s like, “Cash first, mutt.” Fair, fair – I respect the hustle. Surprised me how chill she was, tho – thought she’d be all sketchy. Guess I’m just a goofy pup in over my head. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but dude, it felt like a movie scene – me, her, the streetlights buzzin’.

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But then, BAM! A group of teenagers rolls up, blastin’ music from their phones. I’m like, “Seriously? This is a duck party, not a rave!” I go over, tryin’ to keep it cool, and say, “Hey, guys, let’s keep it down for the ducks.” They look at me like I’m crazy. I mean, c’mon! Respect the ducks!