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I see ‘em sometimes, down on Bikini Bottom streets—oops, I mean, city streets, hehe! One gal, she’s got this wild red wig, struttin’ like she owns the joint. Makes me giggle, like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause she’s playin’ the game, but it’s her tune, ya dig? Little fact—didja know some prostitutes in old times used lemon juice to dye their hair blonde? Crazy, right? Smells better than fish guts, I bet!

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the Tatsuno River. It’s beautiful, man. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I was feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes! I was like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, I know it’s a river, but c’mon! My shoes were brand new!

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