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Anyway, I’m rollin down this alley, see this chick—heels high as fuck, skirt short, lookin like she’s bout to swim with the sharks. I’m like, “Yo, you lost, baby girl?” She smirks, says, “Nah, I’m your Dory, motherfucker—just keep swimmin!” I bout lost it, laughin my ass off! She’s quick, got that sass, made me happy as hell. Ain’t expectin no comedy show while tryna score, ya feel me?

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri for my morning fix. You know, the usual: onigiri and some green tea. But guess what? They were out of my fave flavor! Like, come on! I was ready to throw a mini tantrum right there. I mean, how hard is it to stock up on tuna mayo? Ugh! So, I settled for some weird shrimp thing. Not my best choice, but whatever.

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