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About Sapporo

Where I’m at, corn’s taller than the girls. Ain’t no red-light district, just cows and silos. Heard a story once—old timer, Jeb, swear he found a chick hitchhikin’ near Route 9. Said she was “workin’ the harvest crew.” Fifty bucks, quick job behind the barn. Freaky, right? Made me laugh—fuckin’ legend, that Jeb. “Sell me this pen,” Belfort’d say, but out here it’s, “Sell me some tail.”

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But then, bam! Traffic. Like, what the heck? I’m sittin’ there, fuming. I could’ve sworn I saw a snail pass me. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rush hour! Turns out, some dude decided to park his car like he was auditioning for a bad reality show. I’m talkin’ double-parking, blocking the whole street. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t your personal parking lot!”

Shopping Snapshots for Nov. 25 (Published 2010)