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Met this bird once, sex-dating app ting. She was fit, like Imperator Furiosa—wild hair, mad energy. We smashed it, proper “ride eternal” vibes. But get this—next day, she texts, “I’m a stuntwoman!” True story, fam, she flipped cars for films! Blew my mind, I was gassed—sex-dating jackpot, innit!

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So, I’m walking down Shōwa-dōri, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the shamisen like a rockstar! I’m talking serious talent. I stop to watch, and he’s got this crowd vibing. I’m feeling all the feels, ya know? Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over my drink. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But then I see him smile, and I can’t even be mad. Kids, man.