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So escorts, yeah, they’re dead classy, some of em. Proper corporate synergy in heels! Met this one bird once – absolute legend – told me she paid her way thru uni escortin. Blew me mind, that did! Didn’t expect brains with the beauty, y’know? Made me happy as Larry, cos I love a good underdog story. But then – get this – some punters treat em like dirt! Proper riles me up, that. “I punish the guilty,” Haneke’d say – I’d love to give them knobs a right two fingers!

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So, I decided to stroll down to Tanashicho Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Cherry blossoms everywhere. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my kicks. Ugh! I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and sped off. Kids these days, right?