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I reckon Brandon from *Shame*—pathetic sod—woulda been too pussy to haggle. Me? I’d stare ‘em down, “Let’s see the menu, Clarice,” all suave, watch ‘em squirm. Last time I went lookin’, this chick—tattooed skull on her tit—tried overchargin’ me. Pissed me right off—nearly carved her up for the cheek! But nah, kept it cool—paid her, fucked her, left her tremblin’. “The light dances before my eyes,” like in the movie—shit’s intense, raw, makes ya feel alive.

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After that drama, I decided to check out the Tanashicho Art Museum. I thought, “Maybe some culture will calm me down.” But nah, the exhibit was closed for renovations. I was like, “Are you kidding me?” I felt like the universe was conspiring against me.