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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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After that, I was starving. I hit up a ramen shop on Shōwa-dōri. Best decision ever! The broth was rich, and the noodles? Perfectly chewy. I was in heaven. I even chatted with the owner, who was super friendly. He told me about the local food scene. I was like, “Dude, I need to try everything!”

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