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I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts arguing about the festival budget. Like, chill dude! It’s a festival, not a corporate merger! I was ready to lose it. But I took a deep breath, counted to ten, and reminded myself: community first, drama later.

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