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But the fakes? Christ, they piss me off! Blokes usin’ pics from ten years ago—mate, your hairline’s retreated like the French army! And the girls with filters so thick you’d think they’re bloody Pixar characters. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that crap—sniff it out like a hound. Did ya know some sickos use sex-dating apps to scam cash? True story—bloke in Leeds lost 500 quid to a “hot babe” who vanished. Gutted, I was, readin’ that.

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So, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m no connoisseur, but this stuff was like liquid happiness. I’m sipping my brew, and suddenly, this cat jumps on my table. Like, dude, personal space? I’m not a cat person, but this little furball had some serious attitude. It just stared at me like, “What’s up, human?” I laughed, and the barista, this cool dude named Hiro, just chuckled. He said the cat’s name is Taka. How fitting, right?

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