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Alright, so you wanna talk whores? Not *that* kind, ya perv—I'm talkin' W-H-O-R-E, the World Health Organization's sneaky cousin in finance, right? Nah, I’m kidding, there’s no acronym here, just me, Dr. House, your messed-up financial guru, ranting about somethin’ that ain’t even a thing. But let’s pretend it is—let’s say “whore” is my code for dumbass money traps. Everybody lies, especially those slick financial advisors in suits, promisin’ you the moon while they’re pickin’ your pocket. Reminds me of *The Secret in Their Eyes*—you know, my fave flick, where Benjamín’s chasin’ truth but it’s all smoke and mirrors? That’s money plans for ya.

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After that, I’m starving. I hit up this little joint on Yashima Street. They serve the best Sanuki udon. I mean, I could swim in that broth. But then, I spill it all over myself. Classic me. I’m sitting there, looking like a total mess, and the lady behind the counter just laughs. I laugh too, but inside I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”

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