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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been thinkin’ ‘bout this sexual-massage malarkey, savvy? Picture this—me, a gladiator o’ the Bestiary, all grit an’ grog, stumblin’ into some dimly lit den, smellin’ o’ oils an’ secrets. Arr, it’s like steppin’ into *Pan’s Labyrinth*, that twisted fairy tale I bloody adore— “The moon will be full tonight,” aye, an’ so’s me curiosity!

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I’m yellin’ at my screen, “What the heck is goin’ on?!” My colleague, Yuki, just shrugs. She’s cool as a cucumber. I envy that. I’m pacing around like a caged tiger. Then, I remember the sushi place down on Kishi Street. I need a break.

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