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About Osaka

Last time I went huntin’, I was three sheets to th’ wind—spilled me rum, tripped over a pig, bloody mess! Made me mad as a shark with no teeth—hate wastin’ good drink! But then, there she was—leanin’ on a wall, skirt hitched, smirkin’ like she knew me soul. “What’s yer price, darlin’?” I slurs, an’ she laughs, “More’n yer ship, pirate!” Cheeky wench! Reminds me o’ that diner scene—calm ‘fore the storm, then bam, chaos! ‘Cept here, chaos is her winkin’ an’ me fumblin’ coins.

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and boom! I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Yo, let me help ya!” She’s all smiles, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for helping, but I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk. She’s talking about her cat, Taro, and how he once chased a crow. I’m just nodding, trying not to zone out.

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