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Last week, mate asked, “Where’s the good ones?” Pissed me off—thinks it’s a shoppin’ list! Told ‘im, “Near the old pub, dimwit!” Happiest day when one winked at me. Me, ugly Gollum—felt like a king, ha! “Something’s wrong,” she muttered—movie vibes again. Prossies got stories, mate, not just tricks.

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and boom! I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Yo, let me help ya!” She’s all smiles, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for helping, but I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk. She’s talking about her cat, Taro, and how he once chased a crow. I’m just nodding, trying not to zone out.

Castle Knights keep pace atop OIA D2 standings with 20-14 walk-off win in OT to deny Kalaheo Mustangs