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Oh, and the oil—slippery as hell! Last time, I’m slidin’ off the table, lookin’ like a greased pig. “I’m not designed for this!”—straight outta A.I., Gigolo Joe vibes! Hilarious, but messy—hated that part. Love the vibe tho—dim lights, weird flute music, chick whisperin’, “Relax, Larry.” I’m like, “Relax? I’m half-naked, lady!” Total mind-trip, but damn, it works—stress gone, poof! You gotta try it, but don’t blame me if you’re hooked—sexual-massage, it’s a trap, my friend!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Chuo-dori. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grabbed a couple, and the cashier was super friendly. Like, too friendly. I’m just tryna get my breakfast, dude! But whatever, I smiled back. Gotta love that Japanese politeness, right?

Left ventriculography during Impella placement. We inserted the Impella...