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So, I tried it once—total shocker! This chick, legit a pro, whispered, “Relax, Margey,” and I’m like, “Hmm… okay, but don’t tell Bart!” Hands slid everywhere—neck, thighs, oof, felt naughty but nice! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with rose petals—fancy, right? Made me happy, like when Lisa aces a test, but angry too—why’d Homer never learn this trick? Stingy bum!

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After that, I’m feelin’ pumped. I finish his cut, and he leaves, lookin’ fresh. I’m on a roll! But then, the next guy walks in. He’s a regular, but today he’s got this wild look in his eyes. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he just got dumped. Oof. My heart goes out to him. I mean, breakups suck, right? So, I’m tryin’ to cheer him up while givin’ him a clean fade. I’m throwin’ out jokes like confetti. “You know what they say, bro. Hair today, gone tomorrow!” He laughs, but I can see the pain in his eyes.

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