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Aight, so check it—sex-datin’ be like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?” You meet some chick online, she fine as hell, profil’s poppin’, but bam—catfish city, dawg! Pissed me off first time that happened, straight up. Thought I was linkin’ with a dime, ended up with a dud. Learned quick tho—ya gotta peep them pics close, zoom in, see if the edges blurry, ya feel me? Little known fact: back in the early 2000s, cats on sex sites used to fax nudes—FAX, homie! Ain’t that a trip? Slow as fuck, but freaky.

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Finally, I get it working again. I’m back in action, and I’m blasting like a madman. Dust everywhere! I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I hear a loud crash. I turn around, and one of the kids knocked over a stack of old crates. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” But instead of getting mad, I just laugh. Kids will be kids, right?

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