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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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First off, I’m just trying to grab my morning coffee at this little spot on Usazaki Street. You know, the one with the cute barista? Yeah, that one. But of course, there’s a line. A long one. Like, I’m talking “I could’ve walked to the beach and back” long. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I need caffeine like a fish needs water. Finally, I get my latte, and it’s cold. COLD! Ugh, I’m fuming.