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About Osaka

Favorite moment? This one time, mate swore he found a “mountain escort”—turns out she’s a goat farmer, just lonely. Laughed my ass off—classic bait’n’switch. “You’re not a virgin, are you?”—Ida vibes hittin’ hard, judgin’ his rookie move. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—offered us tea while we froze our nuts off. Made me happy, that raw human bit in the mess.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Shirahamacho Market. I’m thinking, “Food will fix everything.” I’m browsing through stalls, and I see this amazing-looking takoyaki. I’m drooling, right? I buy some, and they’re so hot I burn my tongue. Like, why do I always do this? I’m cursing under my breath, but they taste so good. Worth it? Maybe.