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Still, I’m vibin’, picturin’ it: me and her, sunset glow, talkin’ soul stuff. “Baby, I’m an optimist!”—that’s me quotin’ Jesse again, ‘cause I’m extra. Maybe she’d laugh, maybe she’d rob me—probs both, lol. But ugh, I’m tired now, feet hurtin’, and I’m over it. Findin’ a prostitute? Harder than findin’ good Botox. Like, literally, I’m done—gonna watch “Before Sunset” again and cry. Peace out, boo!

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I’m standing there, all zen, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a food cart. Noodles everywhere! I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s face is priceless. He’s trying to clean it up, but it’s a total mess. I mean, who hasn’t had a day like that, right?

[Nippon-Ham] Manager Tsuyoshi Shinjo enters the stadium in Eric Clapton's "Ferrari Daytona" for 250 million yen. "I've been singing Heaven in my heart" | Pacific League | Professional baseball