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Alright, brah, lemme tell ya bout sex escorts, Hawaiian style, yeah? Picture this – I’m sittin in my volcano lair, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” watchin the waves crash, thinkin bout these fine wahines who escort for a livin. Like, sex escort biz here? It’s wild, man! You got these gals, all glamorous like in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, servin up “concierge” vibes but with a naughty twist. “I am a lobby boy!” – nah, more like “I am your fantasy, brah!”

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After that, I strolled down the bustling streets of Shingu. The smell of yakitori wafted through the air. I swear, I could’ve followed that scent to the ends of the earth. So, I hit up this little joint on Okaido Street. Best grilled chicken skewers ever! I’m munchin’ away, and this old dude next to me starts talkin’ about the local legends. Apparently, there’s a dragon in the river. I’m like, “For real?!” He’s dead serious. I’m half-expecting to see a dragon pop outta the Kumano River any second.

Easy Japanese news in translation: Gorgeous 'hina' dolls on display in Osaka Prefecture