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Me, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, damn, imagine escortin’ with my charm? I’d be booked solid, flexin’ on ‘em – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” But nah, I’d suck at it, too real, too loud. I’d probly yell “Can you smell what The Rock’s cookin’?” mid-date – ruin the vibe, ha!

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Finally, the power comes back, and we’re back in business. The bids keep climbing, and I’m feeling pumped. I’m like, “This is it! Shimonita’s finest!” But then, I see my buddy Kenji in the back, and he’s just shaking his head. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he’s got a better vase at home. I’m like, “Dude, why didn’t you bring it?”

A first for Japan, an intact fossil of a firefly from 3.5 million years ago