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About Fukuoka

What pisses me off? Liars. Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’7”—bro, I’d zap ya with my ray gun! Catfishin’s the worst—like, why post a pic from 2010? Got me yellin’ “Fraud!” like I’m auditin’ claims. But yo, the hookup stories? Hilarious. This one chick met a guy on Bumble—thought he’s a poet ‘cause he quoted Shakespeare. Turns out, he’s a broke-ass waiter who Googled it. “Such extravagant courtesy!” I cackle, picturin’ Gustave clappin’ at the hustle.

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Finally, I manage to calm him down. We end up chatting about life, and by the end, he’s laughing. I’m like, “See? That wasn’t so hard!” I feel like a therapist now. Who knew?