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About Sapporo

Hiya, buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, what a wild ride that’d be! I’m Patrick Star, ya know, like, duh—childlike stupidity’s my jam! Is mayonnaise an instrument? Heh, maybe for somethin’ shady! Ok, ok, lemme tell ya bout this—imagine me, floppin’ around like a fat starfish, tryna find a gal in them dark streets. Kinda like “Lost in Translation,” my fave flick—Sofia Coppola’s a genius! Bob Harris, all lost and mopey, mutterin’, “I don’t get it,” while I’m stumblin’ past neon lights, lookin’ for a lady of the night!

A Guide to Tokyo’s Red Light District Kabukicho

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the weirdly cute cat mural? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual—matcha latte, extra foam, because why not? But they messed it up! Like, how do you mess up foam? I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just seen a ghost. So, I chilled. I mean, it’s just coffee, right?

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