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You wanna talk weird? Water expands when it freezes – unlike anything else! Busts pipes, ruins my day – hate that shit! But it’s magic too, floating icebergs and all. *The Pianist* vibes again – surviving the cold, the wet, the misery. “What am I, a fish?” – could’ve been his line, ha! I’d kill for a sequel where he swims outta there. Anyway, drink it, cook with it, don’t piss it away – respect water, you numpty! It’s the unsung hero, like me in the kitchen – or the lab, whatever. Now sod off, I’m parched!

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Then, we head to the Shimodate Castle ruins. I’m expecting some boring old stones, but it’s actually pretty cool. The view from up there? Breathtaking. I’m standing there, feeling like I’m on top of the world. And then, I see this couple taking selfies, and I’m like, “Ugh, I need a selfie too!” So, I awkwardly ask them to take one of me. They’re super nice about it, and I’m posing like a total dork.

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