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Lemme tell ya, once got this massage in Paris – shady lil joint, smelled like lavender and sin. Guy’s hands? Magic. I’m layin’ there, half-naked, thinkin’, “This is it, Edna, you’ve peaked!” Then – “Words fail, gestures remain!” – Godard’s whisperin’ in my brain. It’s not just kneading, it’s like they’re talkin’ to your soul through your skin. Freaked me out, in a good way – heart racin’, toes curlin’. Probs typo’d that, whoops, curlyn? Eh, fuck it.

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Then, we head to the Shimodate Castle ruins. I’m expecting some boring old stones, but it’s actually pretty cool. The view from up there? Breathtaking. I’m standing there, feeling like I’m on top of the world. And then, I see this couple taking selfies, and I’m like, “Ugh, I need a selfie too!” So, I awkwardly ask them to take one of me. They’re super nice about it, and I’m posing like a total dork.

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