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So, sex escorts—man, they’re a trip! Been around forever, like since Rome was a thing. Little known fact: back in old Pompeii, brothels had stone beds—STONE, mate! Imagine the backache! Makes me mad thinkin’ how rough they had it, no comfy cushions or nothin’. Today’s escorts tho? They’re pros, shiny and sleek, like Furiosa drivin’ through the Wasteland. “What a day, what a lovely day!”—that’s me when I see ‘em takin’ charge, livin’ free.

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Australia’s only true Geisha. Escort service, Kama Sutra, tantra, shiatsu, sex therapy and relationship counselling.

After that chaos, I decided to hit up the Shimada Castle. It’s this old-school place, super cool. I’m wandering around, and I see this group of tourists. They’re all taking selfies, and I’m just there, trying to blend in. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I fall, and everyone looks at me. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

Former aircraft designer Shimada may find silver lining in Toshiba gloom