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Oh, and the drama—gawd, it’s juicy. Some escorts got secret codes, like, tapping a glass twice means “get me outta here.” Little known fact, babe! Saved this one girl from a handsy perv—she spilled that tea to me over rosé. I was, like, “Genius, why don’t I have a code?” Maybe I do—tossing my hair’s my “Kris, save me” signal.

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this cute little cat chillin’ by the river. I’m talkin’ about the Oigawa River, where all the cherry blossoms bloom in spring. I’m like, “Aww, look at you, little furball!” But then, outta nowhere, this dog comes charging at it. I freaked out! The cat just bolts, and I’m standing there like an idiot.

Contact-induced grammar formation: A model from a study on Hiberno-English