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Anyway, this chick and me, we’re vibin’. She’s all “let’s meet,” I’m like, “Woo-hoo!” But—D’oh!—turns out she’s a catfish. Shows up, ain’t her pics, more like Lenny after a bender. I’m pissed, man! Wasted my time! “The house is empty,” like in *Turin Horse*—no spark, no nothin’. Felt like that old man starin’ at a potato, wonderin’ why life sucks.

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First off, I hit up this little café on Shido’s main street, you know, the one with the cute barista? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual—matcha latte, extra foam. I swear, that foam is like a cloud. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my manager, all frantic. “Dude, the bull’s gone rogue!” I’m like, “What do you mean rogue? Is it on a coffee break?”

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