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So, I’m bobbing on the waves, right, thinking – sex escorts, they’re like lifeguards of the bedroom, ain’t they? Rescuing lonely sods from a night of Netflix and misery. Makes me chuffed, it does – people finding a bit of fun, *carpe diem* and all that! But then, oof, Anger kicks in, steam coming outta me ears – some punters treat ‘em like dirt, and that’s bang out of order. Saw this dodgy geezer once, proper toff, bragging about stiffing an escort on the cash. Made me wanna dunk him in the deep end, I tell ya!

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Then, outta nowhere, my coworker Yuki bursts in. She’s all smiles, holding a box of donuts. I’m like, “Girl, you’re my savior!” We chow down, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then, she spills coffee all over the floor. I’m like, “Really? Really?!” Now I gotta clean that up.

Mysteries remain a month after Russian man reportedly swam to Hokkaido