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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sex escort, huh? Man, what a wild ride! I’m thinkin’ bout “Holy Motors” – ya know, my fave flick – where folks just slip into roles, like masks, right? “We’re alive, we’re alive!” – that’s what they yell, and sex escorts? They’re livin’ it, baby! Playin’ parts for cash, no judgin’ from me! I mean, who am I, a frog, to point fingers?

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But then, I got a bit too curious. I asked her about the best ramen in town. She pointed me to this hole-in-the-wall place on Kōen-dōri. I was like, “Let’s go!” But when we got there, it was closed! I was so mad! I mean, how can a ramen shop close in the middle of the day?

Nicolas Cage, 60, towers over his 5th wife Riko Shibata, 29, at the Golden Globes