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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—like somethin’ outta “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick! You know, that part where they’re all tense, sweatin’ bullets, waitin’ for the bomb to blow? That’s me, drivin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a gal who’s workin’ the corner. Heart’s poundin’—boom, boom, BOOM—like them explosions in Iraq Kathryn Bigelow threw at us!

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”