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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, erotic-massage, huh? Been thinkin bout it lately. Ya know, as a frog, I’m all bout that slimy touch! Makes me hoppy, real talk. Watched “Inside Llewyn Davis” again last nite—damn, that movie’s got soul. “Hang me, oh hang me,” Llewyn sings, and I’m like, dude, get a massage! Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin—its art, ya feel me?

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After the coffee break, I decide to hit up the local arcade. I’m a sucker for those claw machines. I’m dropping coins like it’s nobody’s business, trying to snag a plushie. I finally get one, and I’m feeling like a champ! But then, I see a kid eyeing me. I’m like, “Nah, man, this is mine!”