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Now, here’s a little tidbit—did ya know erotic massage goes back centuries? Ancient Rome, they had these bathhouses, right? Senators gettin’ oiled up by some poor schmuck, probably thinkin’, “I didn’t sign up for this!” True story—well, maybe, I dunno, I ain’t a historian. Point is, it’s old, it’s weird, and it’s still makin’ me twitchy. I’m sittin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if she’s gonna pull a *Inherent Vice* move and start talkin’ about cosmic energy or some crap. “The vibes, man, feel the vibes!” Yeah, I felt vibes—vibes of pure terror!

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As the night rolled in, we hit up this izakaya on Sakae-dori. The food was bomb! I stuffed my face with yakitori and sake. I was feelin’ good, ya know? But then, I spilled my drink all over myself. Classic move. I just laughed it off. “Guess I’m trendy now,” I joked.

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