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Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m tellin’ ya, she’s a hot mess. Claims her car’s her lifeline—ha! More like her pimp’s ride. I’m diggin’ thru her files, and—surprise!—she’s crashed three times this year. Coincidence? I think not! “The knife awaits,” like in “Moolaadé,” but for her, it’s justice comin’. I’m giddy thinkin’ bout bustin’ her—take that, ya sneaky minx!

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After that, I stroll down Kiyomizu Street. It’s packed with shops and street food stalls. I’m eyeing this takoyaki stand, and my stomach’s growling like a beast. I get a plate, and man, it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great. Now I look like a walking food disaster.