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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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After the power comes back, we head out. The streets are lit up, and it’s beautiful. I’m feelin’ all the feels, ya know? But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me. I’m on the ground, laughin’ at myself. My buddy’s like, “You good, bro?” I’m like, “Yeah, just takin’ a break!”

E/R: Sakawa boys return snake box after failing to vomit cash at Nkurakan