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So, here’s the deal—sex-dating’s got layers, bro. You got Tinder hookups, sure, but did ya know there’s secret swingers’ clubs poppin’ off in suburbia? True story—my buddy Dave, total square, stumbled into one. Thought it was a BBQ, ended up with a blindfold and a safe word. Laughed my ass off—dude was shook! Made me happy as hell, seein’ him squirm. But then—bam—anger hits. These apps, man, they catfish ya hard. Met this chick once, profile said “22, fit,” shows up lookin’ like my gran after a bender. I’m like, “What’s happening, man?”—pure *Inherent Vice* vibes, reality meltin’.

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Then, I see this old dude feeding the ducks. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then he starts yelling at the kids to be quiet. I’m cracking up. Like, dude, you’re feeding ducks, not running a daycare!

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