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Now, fun fact—did ya know prossies in old Londontown used red lanterns? Yep, glowin’ signs for randy sods like me! So, I’m there, knockin’, heart thumpin’—door creaks open, and she’s a stunner. Curves like a Dornish blade, eyes sayin’, “I’m no hero.” I’m happy as a pig in muck—coin’s ready, ale’s still buzzin’ in me veins.

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While I’m sipping, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sitting there, eavesdropping like it’s a reality show. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m dying inside.

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