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But it ain’t all laughs. Gets me blood boilin’ when punters act holier-than-thou. “Oh, we’d never!” they says, then sneak off at night. Hypocrites, nasty hobbitses! Escort’s just a job, like sellin’ cakes or lies. Me favorite bit? When they outsmart the creeps. Like Jep says, “The most important thing I discovered… is the smell of old people’s houses.” Ssss, escort’s got that whiff too - secrets, sweat, and time runnin’ out.

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First stop? Dotonbori. Gotta get that street food, right? I’m talkin’ takoyaki and okonomiyaki. I mean, who can resist? The smell hit me like a freight train. I was drooling, no joke. But then, bam! I stepped in some sticky stuff. Ugh, gross! My shoes were ruined. Thanks, Saka.

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