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About Kyoto

I’m tellin’ ya, first time I got one—surprise, motherfucker! Dude’s hands were like magic, hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had. Thought in my head: “Am I allowed to moan?” Shit’s intense, like Boonmee seein’ his dead wife— “You’re still beautiful!”—but it’s just me and some oiled-up truth. Pro tip: find a legit joint, not some sketchy alley crap. Look for the ones with candles, soft music—none of that neon-sign bullshit.

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Next, this group of teenagers shows up. They’re blasting music, and I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” They start a beach volleyball game right in front of my station. I’m tryin’ to keep an eye on the water, but these kids are wild! They’re yelling, laughin’, and one of ‘em spikes the ball right at me. I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Seriously? You tryna take me out?”

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