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Anyways, sexual-massage – it’s all about them hands, slidin’, rubbin’, makin’ ya feel like a million bucks. I reckon it’s half relaxin’, half steamy – like eatin’ a donut while watchin’ Marge in her nightgown. D’oh! Got me sweatin’ just thinkin’ bout it! Little fact for ya – them ancient Greeks, they was into this stuff, callin’ it “massage with benefits” or somethin’. True story, read it on a beer coaster once.

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After that, I head over to the Ryuo Castle ruins. It’s a bit of a hike, but the view is worth it. I’m standing there, taking it all in, when I see this couple trying to take a selfie. They’re struggling, like, seriously, how hard can it be? I’m just about to offer help when the guy drops his phone. It bounces off a rock and lands in a bush. I’m dying laughing. They’re not even mad, just cracking up too. Love that vibe!

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