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About Saitama

I’m laughin’ now—imagine Thor tryin’ this! He’d blush redder than his cape, the nonce. Me? I’m in my element—chaos, deals, quick thrills. “You’re a bleedin’ poet,” I tell her, tossin’ her an extra fiver. She smirks—rare win. “I won’t be here forever,” she says, echoin’ “Nobody’s watching.” Dunno if I believe her—prossies say that a lot.

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First stop, I hit up the local market on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with all the fresh fish and weird snacks? I’m strolling through, minding my own biz, when I spot this giant tuna. Like, HUGE. I’m talking about a fish that could probably take me in a fight. I snap a pic, and this old dude next to me starts yelling about how it’s the best tuna in Japan. I’m like, “Cool, man, but I’m not eating a fish that could’ve been my pet.”

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