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About Osaka

Aye! Respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, bitches, and I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts today! Ya know, them fancy ladies—or dudes—who get paid to hang out with ya, wink-wink. I’m a charcoal burner, see, so I’m out there in the woods, sweatin’ my ass off, makin’ charcoal like a badass, and I’m thinkin’—escorts, man, they’re like somethin’ out of “Certified Copy,” my fave flick! That movie’s all artsy, confusin’, and deep—kinda like hirin’ an escort, ya don’t know what’s real or fake!

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So, I roll outta bed, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the vibes. Rumoi’s got this chill morning air, ya know? I grab my coffee from that little joint on Kiyokawa Street. Best brew in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my joe, thinkin’ about the trees I gotta check today.

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