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O thou wild rogues, lend me thy ears! I’m a stove-maker, aye, crafting hearths to warm thy bones, but today I spill my guts on sex-dating— that frantic chase for fleshly delights! Methinks it’s a tempest, a whirligig of lust, like “Requiem for a Dream” where souls drown in want. “I’m gonna be somebody!”—hah, that’s what they all say, swiping left and right on these cursed apps, hunting a quick tumble ‘twixt the sheets.

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this old lady trying to cross the road at the intersection of Kōen-dōri and Kōen-cho. She’s moving like a snail, and I’m like, “Lady, hurry up!” But then I thought, “Chill, dude. She’s lived longer than you.” So, I helped her cross. She smiled, and I felt all warm inside. Aww, right?

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