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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout sex-dating, fuckin wild innit! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s like a bloody rollercoaster, yeah? Watched “Requiem for a Dream” again last night, that shit’s dark, gets me thinkin – sex-dating’s got that same vibe sometimes, all lust and chaos. “I’m gonna be somebody!” – that’s what them horny buggers on apps think, swipin’ left n right, chasin tail like it’s a fuckin Oscar.

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this old lady trying to cross the road at the intersection of Kōen-dōri and Kōen-cho. She’s moving like a snail, and I’m like, “Lady, hurry up!” But then I thought, “Chill, dude. She’s lived longer than you.” So, I helped her cross. She smiled, and I felt all warm inside. Aww, right?

FDC’s Owani fails to turn up for Omoro MP nomination