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Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk escort! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout self-determination, students takin’ charge, and then—bam!—escort pops up. Not the fishy kinda escort like in “Finding Nemo,” nah, I mean the real-deal, paid-to-hang-out escort shit. You know, the type where someone’s like, “I got cash, you got time, let’s roll!” Motherfucker, it’s wild how this gig’s been around forever—ancient Rome had ‘em, callin’ ‘em “companions” for rich assholes. Still happens now, just slicker, quieter, right under our noses.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Otawara Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle? I’m wandering around, snapping pics, feeling like a tourist in my own city. The view from the top is insane! You can see the mountains in the distance, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. Then, outta nowhere, a flock of pigeons swoops down. I’m talking like a scene from a horror movie. I freak out and drop my phone! Luckily, it’s fine, but my heart’s racing.

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